Attack of the Atlantean Gizmo
by Jade Xianghua
Summary: When the team brings back some gadgets from an abandoned ancient facility, who would have known the chaos they would create? Humour fic with a plot and getting more serious. R&R and whatnot.
1. The art of annoying one Rodney McKay

**_Attack of the Atlantean Gizmo_**

_First SG:A fic, I think the title sums it up. More humour will occur later on. Spurred the write this by a line that Ithought of while daydreaming._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters or the plot of Stargate Atlantis_

* * *

Part 1

(POV of ... well you can guess)

Passing through the Stargate was always a strange experience, for a second it seemed like you didn't exist then you did; in a completely different place from that where you started. Ah wormholes, confusing space-time anomalies… well to those who don't understand them and I do. Luckily because of one I'm back at Atlantis. A Wraith-free Atlantis no less. No Wraiths going to appear out of nowhere here. I wish I could say the same for the last world we were on. Not only did it have that eerie vibe of evil going on, there were Wraith there. The 'friendly' neighbours from the Pegasus galaxy whose only want is to chow down on humanity.

"Hey McKay, you okay back there?" Sheppard asked. The team had just passed through the gate, back to safe ground. Ronon was on his way to the infirmary supporting an injured Teyla.

"Yes yes, fine… perfectly fine. Perfectly." I muttered while my voice dripped with sarcasm. Honestly! How can I possibly be okay? I was about a millisecond from being Wraith chow, and if it wasn't for that annoying device that started bleeping like a miniature alarm clock I would have been. Which reminds me…?

"You're not still sour about what happened, are you?" He inquired, while pausing on the steps with a grin slowly creeping onto his face ruining the innocent act.

"Sour? Oh ha ha Colonel, just don't quit your day job. Haven't you got a debriefing to go to?" I snapped while heading up to the Meeting room. Why must he always poke humour into things? It's almost like he doesn't take his job on Atlantis seriously. But I did say almost, the other times when there's some sort of crisis he's on the ball then. No doubt about that, it's just how can he be so sickeningly cheerful sometimes? It's almost childish! Is it his coping mechanism or something like that? I really should pay attention to Dr Heightmeyer more… or even better. I should send him there, that'll fix my problem!

"Yes, yes I do and if I recall you have one too." He stated. Ah yes, that's going to be a bundle of fun. I'm sorry; I just don't see why I need to be present for a meeting where we say what I already know while I could be working on Atlantis' systems. God knows what chaos could have erupted in my absence… Zelenka is probably scheming as I think this right now. You hear that Radek? I'm on to you!

…Maybe I should go to the infirmary afterwards, I might have taken a blow to the head. Paranoia, just what I needed to add to the list of reasons why I shouldn't be sane… the first reason being a friend to Colonel Sheppard.

"…Rodney?"

"Hmm?"

"You seem a little… off. You sure you're alright? I know no one likes visiting the infirmary and being threatened by Carson with his needles but maybe you should head there."

"I'm alright, but if it means you'll stop poking with your questions I'll go after the meeting." I replied, with resigned acceptance. Damn that man and his concern, if I didn't know he was just looking out for me I would have snapped his head off by now but then again he does have a point. …When was the last time I ate… maybe I can sneak a power bar into the meeting.

* * *

Therefore on that note Colonel Sheppard and McKay slipped into the Meeting room for another one of those boring yet necessary briefings.

* * *

(Colonel Sheppards POV)

Boredom wouldn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. Yeah yeah, meetings are important I know, I've said my part…it's just Teyla did take a nasty hit back there and sometimes I get the feeling she hides her pain a lot. I understand that she's a leader of her people, but that's no reason to run herself down like this. One of these days it's going to take its toll on her…

But honestly this science stuff is giving me a headache right now! Not that it's unimportant… there's just this huge pile of reports I need done and I've procrastinated out of them enough already. The world was a giant forest; the only exciting thing we found was that Ancient facility. However it was abandoned which said a lot about how exciting the place was… We found nothing obviously, well except for a few trinkets which McKay's going to have his team examine but nothing that could help our fight with the Wraith, which by the way, found us on the planet. I need to remind myself to never get myself into a situation where I have to fight Wraith at night (the planets solar cycle was opposite to ours). We got lucky, McKay's gadget set off before one got him, I was in another room… I might have not been able to make it in time. That worries me…

"Well we know this much, the ancient at this outpost was probably an exile. The logs showed us that much…"

Ah yes, this is definitely the usual meeting. McKay talking about the significance of what happened, Elizabeth asking questions, Dr Beckett, Colonel Caldwell just listening and me… bored.

He's probably gone over the same details about three times by now, or he should have… What I wouldn't give for a nice sandwich right now… but I've got… what two hours until lunch? Just great.

…I can't make it. Urge to fall asleep growing… Hey is the light reflecting off of my watch? Nice, this will keep me amused for hours. McKay prepared to have the hell annoyed out of you. Serves you right for droning on I say.

* * *

(Dr Weir's POV)

The meeting was drawing to a close, which was gratifying since it had been a long morning. The planet had little significance at the moment unless the trinkets brought back were useful. McKay had guessed that over the years of laying dormant that the power supply had been diminished but with the equipment at the labs could fix that problem. So I granted him permission to go back after the Wraith had stopped their search. However John seemed uninterested, no doubt he had his mind on other things. Although he supplied his part, I couldn't ask more of him… but what he was doing at this precise moment was more than a little surprising considering his previous tired state.

He had begun reading the information in front of him, while casually leaning back in his chair. It wasn't this that surprised me, more like the mischievous glint in his eye. I returned my attention to Rodney as he went over the finer points of the mission, then some light flickered over his face. Rodney was caught off guard, his words slipped but then he carried on like nothing had happened. I spared John another glance, who was grinning like a monkey at the info he was reading. …Something wasn't right.

It happened again. Rodney was obviously getting aggravated by this light and his eyes followed to the source; John's watch. It all clicked just then, he'd found a way to amuse himself.

"Do you mind Sheppard! I'm in the middle of saying something of value." McKay snapped.

"Oh, sorry. Just reading the info, what's wrong?" John asked innocently. He was up to something alright, his favourite sport, McKay baiting.

"The light." Rodney stated obviously.

"Yes McKay it is light, it's almost midday after all…" Sheppard said simply with a smile tugging at his lips. Rodney looked about ready to explode at this moment.

"NO! The light is reflecting off your watch and going into my eye. Will you please quit it Colonel?" John blinked for a moment then looked at his watch, and reflected it into McKay's eye again as if it was news to him doing this.

"Ohhh… sorry about that." Carson seemed amused by the scene, while Caldwell was looking deathly serious as usual and looked like he was about to kill Sheppard with the glare he was giving him.

"You're not really" Rodney grumbled quietly. I figured I should intervene at this point before the situation escalated.

"Right, well I think this meeting is over, we've got the necessary information and I'm sure a few of us have some work to do. So shall we?" I said diplomatically.

"Yes, yes right of course. I'll be in the labs if anyone needs me. Oh!" He turned to Carson and started talking away. No doubt he's injured himself in some minor way again. John just smirked at me and walked off while the others followed suit. I wonder what he is up to now…


	2. The first sign of madness is

_**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, never will. (Sorry for such a short chapter... There was no way I was losing that bet and end up being mute for a day. Enjoy and thanks to the people that have read my story so far, I'm not so good at writing first person. Even more thanks to those who review. I'll be quiet now)**_

_**Part 2- The other consciousness in your head excuse only works once.**_

Minor concussion! _Minor_, like hell it feels minor. Those damn painkillers haven't worked yet. My head feels like someone's taken a drill to it, and I've been given some painkillers and the all clear? In case Carson hadn't noticed, my paranoia levels are through the roof… or maybe they aren't. Sheppard is definitely up to something... Might as well take refuge in the labs, hopefully I can take a look at the life saving alarm clock while I'm at it. Maybe it'll alert me to Sheppard's antics…Nah. That's just wishful thinking there. Hey, why are the labs empty…? At this point I had reached the labs and looked up at the clock to find it was well into lunch. Well that's just great! I missed all the best food! It's entirely Carson and Sheppard's fault! Oh those two are so getting it.

I seated myself at the nearest desk, and took the gadget out from my pocket. I spent a few moments analysing it but my headache was killing me.

"Voodoo shouldn't take this long to work…" I murmured aloud. I wouldn't be surprised if the pain hasn't gotten _worse_ since Carson gave me them. At least there's some power bars stashed in my desk.

"You know Rodney, talking to yourself is said to be a sign of madness and I doubt Cadman is in your head this time." A figure spoke from behind me, with a grin creeping onto his face.

"Very funny Radek, now if you don't mind I'm trying to work despite the fact that painkillers Carson gave me are broken." I snapped. When'd _he_ come in anyways? Shouldn't he be off snacking like the rest of the slackers?

"I doubt painkillers break…"

"Yes well when something doesn't work you usually conclude it's broken." I replied angrily.

"Machines break Rodney, machines. Not medicine." Radek stated.

"…Your point?"

* * *

"You really aren't thinking straight are you?" Dr Zelenka said while shaking his head.

"…Who told you I wasn't thinking straight?" I demanded. Oh yes, the last thing I needed right now was for everyone to think I was losing it. It happened once before, and it took a while before my own _team_ thought I was sane.

"Colonel Sheppard did. He said you had taken a blow to the head off-world." He said while pushing his glasses further up his nose. God that was annoying.

"Oh he did, did he? Well of _course_ the Colonel would say that."

"Rodney… You're acting more paranoid than usual. Colonel Sheppard isn't out to get you and neither am I. You understand, yes?" Radek spoke softly, almost patronisingly.

"… He's up to something." I muttered quietly.

"…Rodney…" He said warningly.

"No! You don't understand, you didn't see the look on his face when he left the briefing room!" Zelenka gave me a questioning look.

"He's up to nothing Rodney; he was actually the one who sent me here to check up on you…"

"He did?" It's official, it's a conspiracy. Zelenka has allied himself with the sheep herder.

"Yes, and now I can see why. What is that you have got there? I didn't see it come in with the rest of the devices…"

"Relax it's just the Wraith detector gizmo that saved my life. I thought it could be useful."

"Right. Have you got it to work?"

"…Not at the moment, it seems to be dead and I can't activate it with the gene."

"Could I take a look?"

"…Fine" I said reluctantly. The thing saved my life and the last thing I needed was for Radek to break it. Something strange was happening, the device started beeping noisily as Dr Zelenka took a hold of the device. "…What _did_ you do?" I yelled over the noise. He just looked around on the device, muttering murderously in Czech. "There's no off switch Zelenka, it's hopeless."

Just then the device lit up, and a bright light invaded my vision. Then there was just darkness but at least my headache was gone…


	3. Oh my god doesn’t even come close

_**Part 3- Oh my god doesn't even come close.**_

_**(Thanks to my reviewers! Don't worry you'll find out what Sheppard's up to next chapter. Hope you like this part)**_

McKay POV

My eyes peeled open to reveal a blurred lab and I began to assess my situation. Okay, I'm on the floor: bad. No signs of any immense pain: good. No headache: jackpot! Sore back: well I couldn't win them all… Well it seems I must have passed out, not fainted as Beckett likes to put it. So what if it's medical? Passed out is less… degrading. Pushing myself up to a sitting position was more of a difficult task than I first calculated. I found it pretty hard to get my body to do anything, but that wasn't all… it felt strange. I know scientists usually don't judge things on 'vibes' but there was something odd here I couldn't quite place my finger on.

…Why hadn't my vision cleared up by now? …Where's Zelenka anyways? I bet he probably woke up by now and just left me here. Lousy little…Hey! There's something on the floor reflecting the light… They were just in grabbing range, now if I could just reach… Nice, that wasn't as difficult as it normally is. Okay… things are becoming a bit clearer… I wonder if these glasses could work. I shoved them onto my face and peered out of them.

Oh this is too weird, I can see fine now. Ah well, he can get them back when he actually bothers to see if I'm alright. Now if I could use that bench to lever myself up... I pulled myself up with less difficulty, blinked a few times to try and dispel the dizziness that I got from getting up too fast. Well that device sure isn't a life saver anymore, rotten traitor. I kicked at it, expecting it to go flying out he labs… but it didn't because it hit someone. Peering around the desk cautiously, I took in the sight before me with forced breaths.

"Oh…my…God…" The words slipped out from my mouth.

* * *

Dr Zelenka POV

"Oh…my…God…." Said a voice I recognised but forgot the face. My mind was fuzzy at the moment… the dull throb of a headache was there. It was the first thing I felt when I woke up, I haven't managed to open my eyes yet… I feel so drained. The voice starts up again, repeating the mantra of 'No no no…' to himself. Who else was in the labs at the time? No… it was just me and McKay. I remember that strange device he held with a look of pride in his face, yet protectiveness …and I broke it. Had I been attacked? No… no one on Atlantis would do such a thing besides I don't think I am the type who makes enemies. That's a skill Colonel Sheppard and Rodney possess.

Feeling a surge of strength I force my eyes open, to find my glasses were missing… but my vision was clear! …Something was definitely wrong here. I pushed myself up onto my hands, and turned to look at the voice who had been cursing the entire time.

"It couldn't be…" I gasped.

* * *

McKay POV

"It couldn't be…" I swung around to hear the all too familiar voice that had never left me. Oh this was utterly perfect.

"I can't believe you!" I practically yelled. It was his entire fault this had happened! "You hijacked my body!"

"…Believe me it was unintentional." His own voice muttered at him.

"What's that supposed to mean? Huh?" There was no way, I was going to get used to this voice, it was so… European.

"That we are equal in fault. I didn't wish to take your body; I was coping fine with my own." He stated evenly.

"MY FAULT?" I yelled with full force. "How DID you work that one out?" Oh no, there was no way he could pin this on me. He broke it.

"Well it's an ancient device, yes? Then only the gene could have activated it, which as I'm sure you are well aware of I don't-"

"Possess. Yeah yeah, I know." I snapped. Damn he got me there. I watched as he slowly clambered up to stand with me, looking a little light on his…well MY feet. Oh crap, I still hadn't eaten anything yet had I? Quickly I walked over to my desk and acquired some power bars. My own face looked quizzical at me as I handed over my stash.

"I'm not feeling very well right now Rodney, I don't think I should-" He mumbled.

"Eat. It'll make you feel better. Hyperglycaemia." I said. Realisation dawned on his face and he started eating while I sat myself at a desk. Well that explains my earlier symptoms, I've become Zelenka. Just what I've always wanted to do…not.

"…So this is what it's like to be incompetent…" I mused to myself; unfortunately Radek caught on and shot me a glare from my own face. Oh that was low… but do I really look like that when I glare? Maybe he just can't control my face right or something.

"So apparently this body is a genius, I feel more like an ass." He retorted. I just gaped at him. Zelenka, swearing! Well I can understand in a different language… but what is the galaxy coming to. Wait, I had one over him. He's now the one with all the medical problems. Success!

"So Radek how's the headache?" I asked almost innocently. He took another bite more violently out of the power bar and muttered.

"Better. You really do make a big deal out of nothing." He said smirking.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not! Padlock." I said, effectively cutting of the argument. I hated it when people did that to me in my childhood.

"Padlock? Rodney despite your hate of children you manage to act like one." Radek muttered while shaking his head.

"Shut up! I am still the department head here."

"To you, yes. To the rest of Atlantis your body is." He said mischievously. Oh no, oh no no no. He is not taking over my labs.

"…Oh no you don't."

"I wasn't going to. Are you going to take a look at that 'life saving' device again. You do want your body back, yes?"

"Yes yes, I was just getting around to that."

"Good."


	4. This means War!

_**Author note: I finally found something Trademark Sheppard! Took me a while but it just clicked. Thanks to all those who read and those who review. This chapter's a bit longer than usual but I promise it's worth it.**_

_**Part 4- This means war!**_

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McKay POV

It'd been three hours since I had started working on the evil gizmo, but to no success. I hadn't even been able to activate it to reverse the horrible awful body switch! Zelenka had suggested that maybe on the fall from our hands it must have broken; yeah I still hadn't told him I had kicked it yet. I had taken it apart, examined all the pieces put it back together and the damn thing still refused to work. It wouldn't even bleep like it usually did.

There is NO way I'm permanently being Zelenka for a number of reasons. One: He's shorter than my usual body, not by much mind you, but it's enough to annoy me! Two: Some of his stupidity might rub off on me. Three: I am happy being Canadian thank you. I didn't even know where the Czech Republic was for a while… Never was good at geography. Four: I can't even speak Czech. Five: His accent is driving me insane; I mean it was bad enough hearing it, now I have to speak it! Six: I do NOT want to have to shower, there are some things a man shouldn't know about his male co-worker.

"OH GOD, I did not just think that!" Uh oh, I said that aloud. Maybe Zelenka didn't notice.

"Just think what Rodney?" He inquired. Damn it all! Cut him off, I'll just cut him off.

"Nothing, nothing, definitely nothing. Don't you have something you could be doing?" I said quickly to change the topic.

"Not really, I was supposed to be analysing those other devices but after this recent incident I doubt that would be a wise thing to do." He stated. Ah right, forgot about those other menaces. Must get him out the way though, it's really unnerving to see yourself looming over your shoulder while you're working, REALLY unnerving.

"Hey Zelenka, could you brief Carson about our situation? I'd advise walking to see him, if we say something over the comm people are going to…well talk. I've been accused of being crazy too many times thanks to Cadman." He nodded.

"Okay I will."

"…I really have to get her back for that." I murmured to myself as he left.

* * *

Sheppard's POV

It'd taken a while but I had gotten a hold of all the equipment, luckily one of the younger marines had the stuff. It only cost me an extra shift of exploring duty but the revenge will be sweet. Mission Attack the Canadian is going underway. He really should have known better than to steal my hair products damn it! My hairs gone flat again so here I am, perched on a not too high up floor wearing a cap, lounging in my casual wear with a paintball gun waiting for McKay to get his ass out of his labs. Elizabeth wondered why I wanted the day off; I just said I was going to be on standby for going back to that planet anyways. She's bought it for now, but after this escapade I'd better head to my quarters afterwards. McKay's going to tear up a storm after this one.

Aha target acquired, heading for the infirmary, as predicted. Now what colour should I start with…?

* * *

Zelenka's POV

I need to remind myself how I got into this mess. I am no errand boy, and I doubt Beckett is going to believe me on the basis that McKay is rather…eccentric. There was the way everyone took the 'Cadman incident' as Rodney so aptly named it, they sent him to Dr Heightmeyer: even I thought the same way. I'm sure this incident may be different but I can empathise with the Lieutenant, this is no paradise to stay in. I feel quite light headed actually; perhaps that's why I agreed to go. If I felt this rubbish in my own body I would take the day off.

Just then I heard the faint noise of a shot, before something hit me in the leg causing my body to stumble. I grabbed a hold of the railing to stay upright and took a look at my leg. There was red… was I bleeding? No, there was little to no pain… I placed a finger into the red substance and rubbed it between my fingers. Paint! Maybe this is why McKay was so paranoid… He seems stressed on a regular basis, more so than the rest. I suppose the Colonel kept him on his toes. The Colonel!

_"No! You don't understand, you didn't see the look on his face when he left the briefing room"_ Rodney's words echoed in my head. Honestly I thought the Colonel was almost above such behaviour… then again I caught McKay sneaking around the rooms a few nights ago. This could be vengeance…

More shots fired, a fluorescent ink colour this time, interrupting my thoughts. I broke into a ran towards the infirmary which was harder that I first anticipated but there was no way I was going to be as the marines usually say 'a sitting duck'. Colonel Sheppard mark my words, no one messes with Radek Zelenka without getting retaliation.

* * *

Dr Beckett's POV

I was greeted with the strangest sight today. Rodney ran into my office with a lot of pink paint shots all over his body. He grasped his knees and started breathing heavily to get the oxygen back to his brain. I wondered what he was doing here, I already told him he had a minor concussion and gave him something to take for the pain. What could he possibly want now? He doesn't look like he fried his hand on any circuitry again and why was he bloody covered in pink paint anyways.

"Dr Beckett!" He finally managed to say. Wait? Did he just call me Doctor Beckett? He usually calls me Carson. Strange.

"What is it Rodney?" I asked. Better get this over and done with.

"Are you busy?" he asked politely. Now this was verging on strange.

"No, not very much so at the moment… Why? Is there something wrong?" Something fishy was going on and it wasn't coming from the ocean outside. …Somehow that joke sounded better before I thought it out. He seemed to fumble over his words, as if he was planning what to say.

"It's Mc-I mean Dr Zelenka." Oh no, he's not going to start on his paranoia theories again, I thought I'd only hear that once today. "He's gotten very ill and is unable to come to the infirmary himself. And he's …er… distracting me from my work." I sighed. Oh yes, when it came to a member of his team being ill he only cared about getting his work done. Typical Rodney, though he wasn't sounding too much like himself.

"Oh well, I could send some nurses down to your labs and have them fix up Dr Zelenka provided there's not any complications." I suggested. He probably worked the poor man to death, sometimes I truly feel sorry for that lad.

"No!" He said. I was confused by this outburst. "…Er what I mean to say is… Can I talk a minute with you in …uh private?" Private? Something was definitely wrong here so I took him to a quiet part of the infirmary and sat him down.

"Now what is it Rodney, something's wrong I can tell. Please explain." He looked at the floor for a moment and after a while he spoke.

"…I'm not McKay." What! Maybe he was having a bad reaction to the medicine…causing amnesia or something. He could see the shock on my face and quickly began talking again. "…I'm sure you think I'm crazy but hear me out. There was a device Rodney brought back from the planet."

"The one with all the gadgets? If you're not Rodney then who are you?" This wasn't making any sense to me but I guess I should hear him out, at least to the end before I come to a conclusion.

"Yes yes, that planet. I am Dr Zelenka." I blinked astonished. That was not possible. "There was a device brought back to the labs that Rodney was tampering with so I asked if I could see it out of scientific curiosity and it activated. …All I can remember is a bright light then waking up in McKay's body." Okay this was beyond all strange, it was almost a repeat of the Wraith Dart incident… but he seemed to be truthful and un-Rodney-like.

"…So you're a consciousness in McKay's head like Laura was?"

"No no, more like our consciouses have switched places. He is in my body and I am in his." I rubbed my temple; this was going to be one large headache coming on.

"I take it you've tried to use the same device to reverse it?" I asked. Sure I was stating the obvious but scientists have a tendency to over look simple things. He nodded.

"Yes. It's unresponsive, we think it may have broken on us both passing out. However Rodney wanted you to be informed of the situation." I think I might pay a visit to him, just to see this for myself. I think there's going to be trouble reversing this device's effect.

"Y'know, I think I'll go see him myself. Not that I don't believe you… it's just if well your body acts like Rodney would then I'll know for sure." I said. He looked immensely relieved.

"So you're not going to get some needles? Chvála bohu!" Wait… I'm sure that last part sounded…Czech. Maybe he is being truthful after all… Zelenka does have a slight fear of needles.

"No son, you're alright. Just need to check in with McKay… Your…his… body could have had a reaction to the painkiller I gave him so I just need to check." Then I had to ask a question that had been nagging on my mind. "…Why are you covered in pink paint anyways?" He grumbled under his breath in Czech distinctly this time then replied.

"Ask Sheppard."

* * *

Sheppard's POV

He'd been in there a while now, I wonder if he's gonna take his comeuppance like a man or not? Okay, bad question. McKay's the kind of guy of avoids conflict… or creates it. This time he had to know he crossed a line. That trap I set in the corridor outside the labs will do the trick. Only need to fire a few shots, then once he reaches the corridor. SPLAT. Vengeance is sweet.

Huh, I wonder why Dr Beckett's with him. There must be something up, or McKay's got him involved in a scheme. Probably the latter… well it's his fault for siding with McKay I say. I must wait until he's sure he's safe then commence fire.

…Just a little closer… I fired a few shots, even getting Carson this time around. Man this was fun; I should get revenge more often.

…Now they are heading for the trap… BULLSEYE!

* * *

McKay's POV

All I heard was a resounding splat coming from outside the labs, after an hour or two of silence. So much for that, I angrily got up from my seat and walked outside to find Carson and Radek on the ground covered in multiple colours of paint.

"What the hell did you two do?" I bellowed. Carson stared at me for a moment, rude! But I probably wasn't acting really Zelenka-like at the moment, I didn't care. He got paint all over my clothes and everything! Radek was the first to slip onto his feet followed closing by an irritated Carson.

"Blame Sheppard, both you and him are getting pay back for this." He snapped. Uh oh, when Radek pranked someone he went all out. What did I do? …Oh yeah, I stole Sheppard's personal hair care stuff. I think in a few days it'll prove my point about a monster actually living in there.

"Hey Rodney, Dr Zelenka? Is this the device you were talking about?" Carson said holding up the device.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Me and Radek shouted simultaneously but it was too late. The machine started to glow a faint blue and let out that ear-piercing beep that I hadn't heard for hours. I was SO going to kill Carson for this!


	5. Why do things always get worse?

_Authors note: Well this took longer than expected. Hit a few problems but I've solved them! Thanks to all those who read this, I'm putting some of my spare time into it. After the New Year I'll be having my computer hours cut down so I can revise more for my exams so I might now update as frequently. Sorry. Almost reached 1000 hits though, awesome record for me... my previous total was sometjing like 8 for something. Anyways I'll shut up now and let you read the story. And review damn it! shakes fist Oh wait, I forgot I wasn't supposed to threaten the readers. Doh.

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_

**_Part 5- The Universe is conspiring against me… and with Zelenka!_**

McKay's POV

As last time I woke up, realised I wasn't me, almost had a fit, muttered how things couldn't get any worse, and then went back to a semi-normal state... Well if you call now being in Carson's body instead of my own, normal. Which I don't. Must…use…all…self…control…not…to…shout…ARGH! I'm drenched in paint! I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask to be Carson or Radek. Why is this happening to me? …Did I anger the wrong God in a past life or something? No no Rodney that's stupid. Gods are some myths created by people for bedtime stories and to provide laws. I'm just having a bad day… Not only have I gotten ever shorter, I get to sound like him too. That gizmo totally stabbed me in the back! It saved my life to put me through this endless torture… and as soon as this mess is over with I'll take great pleasure in turning it into scrap. It's the least it deserves. I wonder if that blowtorch would do the trick. Stupid little…

Oh joy of joys the other two are coming around. Took them long enough, I will make sure to send them one hell of a glare. The problem isn't over though, with every swap incident there's an increased chance of colliding with the desks and equipment giving the next one to inhabit the body one bloody sore headache. Well that and the fact I don't know how to reverse the evil gadget of Satan's effects.

"Rise and shine, lab floors aren't meant for sleeping on. Oh and you'll be cleaning up the paint mess you both made and truly thanks Carson; because of you I am now covered in paint. I hope you're happy." I snapped sarcastically. They both got up to their feet disorientated; ha I think I may have bumped my head on the way down after all. Take that Radek's body! Man, they were taking a long time getting adjusted.

"Do you mind hurrying up? The less time I spend as Carson the better, I don't want to catch Scottish. Now, who's who?" I grumbled. Zelenka blinked a couple of times and grabbed at his glasses for a moment. Afterwards his face broke out in a huge grin while my own glared at me. Uh oh, I wonder what that could mean.

"I am me." He said simply, the smile never leaving his face. Could it hurt for Carson or Radek to be anymore specific?

"Yes and I'm me too, just not in my own body." I said, irritation showing in my voice. My own body was staring in disbelief at me… I really do hate it when people stare. I'm not some animal at the zoo. Never did like zoos… I swear one of the snakes was out to get me then.

"I am in my own body." Zelenka stated.

COME ON! This isn't fair! How come he gets to be himself AND dry! This is just the final nail in my coffin! …The universe hates me.

"…I hate you." I muttered. Carson would be in my body… I'm going to catch the Scottish for sure now.

"…You're me?" Carson said finally having found his voice.

"…Yes. Carson I'm your subconscious. You know the one that tells you to stab people with needles and turn people into bugs." He looked confused. Ugh, can't the man understand sarcasm when he hears it? "Of course not! I'm Rodney and you are now the proud owner of my own limited edition body. Which I want back by the way… and in better condition than Zelenka left it." I finished.

"I'm not the one who starved himself…" Radek muttered while observing the device.

"For someone who got their body back you are surprisingly testy"

"Got headache." He stated. Ha point one for me! If I have to go through this every time the sadist gizmo goes off a number of things will happen. The first being my body will end up keeling over, I don't need to say how bad that would be for me and Atlantis. Secondly, I will lose my precious sanity. The third and final thing being that I would attack Zelenka for hogging all the luck.

"…You know what? You two bickering isn't going to help matters. Now how about we try and reverse this before your scientists come back and have us all committed!" An irritated Carson said as he took a seat. What? Did he think I sat around doing nothing for all this time? The device's technology is far different from the usual ancient technology making it hard to repair.

"Do you think I haven't TRIED to fix this damn mess! I've been at it for ages! The closest thing we have to progress is Radek being in his own body!" My patience was wearing thin at this point in time. There's nothing I'd rather do at this point in time than crawl into my bed and just stay there for a week, but this problem won't fix itself.

"…Which happened by accident." The Czech added.

"Yes which also happened by accident. Add to that we have a Colonel with time to spare hunting us all down with a paintball gun because he wants to reclaim his damn hair products."

"So what are we going to do?" Dr Beckett inquired.

"Zelenka could you exit the room for a moment?" He nodded and complied. Carson seemed to be slightly worried… what did he think I was going to kill him or something? Wait… didn't I just vow to do that a few moments ago? Meh.

"Carson pick up the gizmo." He hesitantly walked over to the device and did so. Always fearful of technology as usual. I walked over to where he stood and took the object in my hands again and closed my eyes.

Nothing. No whirring, no lights no passing out. Well that is just great…

"Well it was worth a shot… Radek, you can come back in." Carson looked down hopelessly at the device, while Zelenka entered the room, saw our expressions and pinched the bridge of his nose in thought.

"What now?" Carson asked. I suppose there's only really one option at this point, and it's not becoming insane or adjusting to the changes. No, no, never will I be Carson permanently.

"Me and Radek are going to work on this device while _you _get Dr Weir's permission to go back to that forsaken planet."

"What? Why me?"

"You're in my body Carson. Otherwise I'd go get her permission myself but I doubt she's going to believe us when we say our bodies have switched. I'm sure you had trouble believing Zelenka when he told you."

"Well yes but…what will I say?"

"Say that the devices aren't responsive and that from the information you have gathered that we would have a better idea of how they worked if we were back at the planet. Also that they show promise and would be worth investigating." Dr Zelenka suggested. …That actually might work. Sneaky.

"I'll try… but if it doesn't bloody work don't whinge to me about it." He murmured and on that note he left. I heavily resisted the urge to smack my head off of the nearest desk.

"…So do you think the answer will be on the planet?" Zelenka asked breaking the silence. How the hell should I know? The thing bleeped off-world without switching me. Ugh, being a wraith. That would not be my idea of a good time. Then I'd have to of shot myself because there's valuable knowledge the wraith would love to get their claws on. Then I'd be a wraith forever- Okay! I think I should really stop that thought there

"…I honestly don't know, but we aren't making much progress here. I can't access the circuits within it unless it's online and it only does that when it wants to cause hell." Radek nodded thoughtfully.

"… It only seems to activate when there is more than one person present. We could technically activate it how many times required to have us all back in our bodies but we have no idea of the side effects."

"That's what I'm worried about. Switching people's consciousnesses is not something medical voodoo is familiar with." He was quiet, in deep thought. I'm sure I tried everything… what could he be thinking? A horrified expression suddenly filled his face. …Radek freaking out… Not good. It'd be a shame to replace him. I might end up stuck with Kavanaugh!

"The time." He said.

"What about the time? The fact that we're running out of time is apparent but-"

"No. What time is it Rodney?" Why the hell does he want to know the time?

"What? Thinking about taking a break now that you're back to normal while me and Carson are stuck in this mess. How nice of you. Well let me tell you something-"

"RODNEY!" He said vehemently. Oh crap I've angered the un-angered one. That's a first… "Now would you please just answer my question or I will be forced to set Cadman on you." Cadman! He wouldn't! I'm Carson! That'd mean she'd… she'd-Ugh! That's another thought heading for repression.

"It's 3:37pm. Now will you tell me what you're thinking? Resorting to Cadman is pretty low." Radek slumped back onto the wall.

"…The others aren't back yet." He said softly. The other scientists aren't here are they? They are probably taking one damn long lunch break most likely. Bunch of slackers. I feel like I am going to explode. Here I am working my ass off and they've got the longest lunch break I've ever known. Radek must have seen the expression on my face because then he elaborated.

"…I do not think they went for lunch at all." Wait! If that's the case, then why wouldn't they be here…? I just had them working on the…on…the…

"…Oh crap." Escaped my mouth. Dr Zelenka nodded to me, knowing I'd finally understood. Both of our eyes lingered on the lab benches… those gizmos where going to pay for messing with Rodney McKay.

* * *

_Next chapter will have the reappearance of one miffed Lt. Colonel John Sheppard... and probably more chaos. I did say these gizmos where chaos causing... I didn't? Oops..._


	6. Complications

**Attack of the Atlantean Gizmos**

_A/N: Sorry, it's been a while to update. Schools kept me on my toes but fear not! I'm back and with a killer plot idea. Mwa ha ha ha. …Oh and review… please?_

**Part 6-Complications.**

(McKay's POV)

"Okay… okay. This is bad. Very bad." I stared in disbelief at the gadgets lying scattered across the tables. God… how many people did I have working on those? About a dozen? Oh we are so screwed. I hadn't even been able to work out how the first damn device worked! There are at least seven different gizmos of evil circuitry… that was what? Eight variations of doom? I was well aware I was beginning to hyperventilate but I sure as hell had a reason to. Radek's expression was still fixed in shock but he very quickly composed himself.

"Rodney… The last thing we need to add to amounting problems is panicking." I wasn't listening. Hello! These devices didn't operate like usual ancient technology; it could take weeks to figure out how the mechanisms worked. Not to mention the fact that every time someone tried to activate the first device it went berserk!

"RODNEY!" The Czech scientist hollered gripping me by the shoulders.

"I can't fix this…" I admitted. The circumstances were growing increasingly worse, not to mention we were no closer to fixing this mess than when we first started.

"Maybe that is true if you keep panicking like this. You're not doing yourself any favours." He reasoned sternly. Oh? And what was the alternative… go out and eat lunch and forget the entire thing happened?

"I've said this before but it bears repeating I just react to doom a certain way okay? I'm not some cool headed military leader like Caldwell or Sheppard!"

"Rodney…" There was that damn empathic tone again. "We'll fix this... like we have managed to fix things in past experiences. We just need to focus on dealing with the now." As much as I hated to admit it, he did have a point.

"…Yeah fine. It doesn't mean we're any less doomed though." I resigned grudgingly. Zelenka gave me a faint grin as he made his way to one of the gadgets. I looked the fiendish things over a few times, before deciding I really had to plug on with the work.

I wonder how Carson is doing with convincing Elizabeth to let us go back to the planet…

(Sheppard's POV)

I really need to take days off more often… or get the men to play paintball in an exercise to test team work… or something like that. Shooting McKay was just the kind of relaxation he needed, so what I threw Carson in for fun… he really needs to find cures to things without the use of needles. That'd be a real medical breakthrough! Nah, joking aside he hoped they weren't _too_ mad at him. I winced at the thought… payback was going to be hell.

Ah well I had a good run. Now how did he say this thing was to pack up again? Taking the gun apart piece by piece wasn't as easy as he had at first thought. I got it finished in a few minutes and took a break and leant casually over the railing and watched the people below. Everyone was always in such a hurry and on a normal day that would be him. Hey! There was McKay again… I'd have thought he'd have gotten the message that outside the labs was fair game.

…Uh oh. He is heading to Weir's office… I'm gonna get reprimanded for this. I swear if I wasn't allowed to shoot people with a paintball gun then stargate command wouldn't have let one be sent here as a personal item. Ah well time for plan B. Sheppard's face broke out into one of his trade mark sneaky grins as he pulled out a radio from his pocket.

"Hey, you there?" I queried into my radio. The only noise I got was a constant crackling until I heard a thud.

"Sure am sir. What do you need?" He sounded pretty groggy… Heh. I bet that thud was him falling out of bed. I did tell him to remain on standby.

"Could you take a trip down to the labs and start with plan 'Cool down'?"

"McKay that angry at you sir?"

"I saw him heading down to Weir's office." Laughing could be heard from the other side of the connection.

"You're toast sir."

"Not as toasted as you're gonna be if she finds out the guns yours." There was nothing but silence on the other end for a moment.

"…The only way she'd find out if you told her Colonel."

"…What did I tell you about not using names over this frequency _Major_?"

"…Uh sir. Doesn't really matter. If they were to trace this frequency they'd recognise our voices anyways."

"Yeah well I didn't want to _confirm_ it." More silence.

"…Oops."

"…Just get down there."

"Right sir."

(Dr Beckett's POV)

Aye, changing clothes when you were in the body of Dr Rodney McKay wasn't for the faint hearted that was for sure then again there was no way he'd have braved taking a shower. Then again I'd not of risked turning up to Dr Weir's office covered in paint trying to make a serious request which I can barely remember anymore. Yeah I am bloody screwed but I need to do it for Rodney and Radek's sakes… and the fact I want my own damn body back if that wasn't too much to ask. But knowing the Pegasus galaxy it probably was too much to ask. Now, getting to Weir's office would be the hard part. I wonder if the trigger happy Colonel is still out there… ah well at least he must have ran out of pink paint.

Huh. Odd. No sign of Sheppard for the entire journey. It'll make the talk with Elizabeth go more smoothly. I paused in front of the door for a moment. All I needed to say was that they needed to go back to the planet to solve the gizmos. Though right about this moment I feel ill enough to go right back and just lie in bed. My head is punding so much. Right that does it, I'm going in. I forced myself to walk up to Elizabeth's desk where she was busy typing up something, probably reports, on her laptop.

"Um… Elizabeth?" I said hesitantly. Yeah, I can tell I'm gonna make a huge fool of myself right about now. She immediately looked up from her laptop and took a swig of her coffee before smiling pleasantly.

"Hello Rodney, how are those gadgets coming along? I assume that's what you're here to talk about, right?" Oh, right she's talking to me. I'm not used to this whole being another person thing.

"Eh, not so good…." She looked puzzled for a moment before resting her elbows on the desk.

"Why's that?"

"They just aren't working." I blandly stated. Why wasn't this damn headache going away…

"I thought you said you'd be able to power them up in the labs."

"You'd think so but…" I stalled. It was beginning to get harder and harder to think while this drumming beat intensified in my head.

"But let me guess, you can't interface the equipment to the gadgets because of their unique design. I saw one earlier, it didn't look like standard ancient technology."

"…Exactly. That's why we need to go back to the planet-"

"Wait a second. You're saying you need to go back there? The wraith might still be in the area! It's too risky." Ah, I knew this wasn't going to go easily.

"But Elizabeth, we absolutely _need_ to go. The key to solving these gadgets is there in the database I'm sure of it." She looked sceptical for a moment. Please say yes, please say yes… please get me some painkillers.

"Do you think it's worth sending a team back there to find out what these gadgets do? I know you have a tendency to get caught up in your work but… if you're certain."

"Yeah I am." I said weakly, I had to close my eyes for a moment as the room began to spin. Maybe I could take a quick trip to the infirmary before reporting back to McKay and Zelenka.

"Rodney!" Elizabeth called as she rushed from her desk. I opened my eyes wearily to find worry etched on her face, she's probably have been calling for a few moments. It's hard to focus on anything about now. "…Maybe we should get you to the infirmary." I was actually thinking that myself… wait! If I go to the infirmary she'll cancel going to the planet. For all I know these symptoms could have been caused by the body switching.

"No." I managed to croak out. "I'm …fine. Just haven't had much to eat." I lied. The look on her face showed she clearly didn't believe me. I clenched my eyes shut again and grabbed a hold of the desk to steady myself while I heard a hissing at the back of my hearing causing the ache to become more painful.

"Carson." I heard her voice faintly at the edge of my hearing as the edges of my vision turned black and I slumped to meet the floor.

(Dr Weir's POV)

"RODNEY!" I called again but to no avail, he was out cold. Carson wasn't responding from his headset which means I could only assume he was busy or something was going wrong somewhere else. My intuition was telling me the latter. "This is Dr Weir, could I get a medical team from the infirmary to come to my office immediately." Rodney lay on the ground unconscious but his body seemed to be twitching. It was almost as if he was having a small fit.

"Dr Weir come in." It was Major Lorne. Now there was no doubt there was something definitely up. Cursing could be heard faintly through the headset.

"I'm here but I have a problem. Dr McKay just dropped out cold in my office and I can't contact Carson. What's wrong?"

"That's the thing Ma'am. Dr Beckett is right here with me and Dr Zelenka, he just suddenly took ill and passed out a few moments ago. I called for a medical team." She could distinctly hear foreign mutterings in the background.

"Do you think it's a virus affecting them?"

"Dr Zelenka assures me that it isn't the case." Now that's odd… why would Radek know. Something definitely is wrong.

"Dr Weir." The Czech's voice came over the headset. "It's hard to explain. Once Carson and Rodney make it to the infirmary I'll tell you."

"Understood." I glanced back at Rodney to find him shaking more than before. The whole situation was frightening to experience and I found myself by Rodney's side praying he was okay. I can only hope Carson wasn't going through the same thing and that the medical team would hurry.


	7. Escape

**Attack of the Atlantean Gizmo**

**_Part 7 – Escape_**

_(Teyla's POV)_

My trip to the infirmary last longer than I had first assumed and I could tell that Ronon was getting tired of the waiting. Though I had told him time and time again that he did not need to stay but he claimed it was John's orders. I knew otherwise. It was Ronon's way of letting you know he cared. John had insisted that I should go to the infirmary as soon as we reached Atlantis though I did not see the need. The wounds would heal naturally themselves. However he managed to convince Ronon to get involved and that point I knew I was not going to get out of it. There was no point wasting time and energy trying to avoid the infirmary, Sheppard and Ronon are too stubborn to reason with when they've set their minds to it. I hoped the visit would be a brief one though… A few bandages, a minor reprimand from Dr Beckett was all I expected. Standard procedure.

That's how it went for the first few moments until Dr McKay arrived covered in some pink substance clearly out of breath. Now that was a curious sight indeed. But there was something different about him I could not place, the way he moved, the way he spoke… it was familiar yet didn't fit with McKay. It was almost as he was thinking out his responses carefully yet McKay had a tendency to launch himself into any conversation without even thinking. I was puzzled by this but I simply thought I was over thinking things.

I only became suspicious that something was amiss when McKay and Carson disappeared to his office for a few moments and the good Scottish doctor came out with a confused expression and left the labs. After a great deal of time passed still he did not return, and I grew worried. Another doctor had taken his place and dealt with my injuries but it was no longer myself that I was concerned about. Perhaps there had been an accident in the labs…? Ronon seemed curious himself about the situation frequently asking the doctors when Dr Beckett would be coming back. Hoping to get to the bottom of the problem we both waited for the Scottish doctor's return…

A while later we got our answer when two medical teams rushed out in the space in one minute to two separate locations and that both Dr Beckett and Dr McKay were the ones in need. Me and Ronon exchanged a knowing glance.

"I'll head to Weir's office." He said gruffly before rushing out of the infirmary. Pushing myself to my feet I headed in the direction of the labs fairly quickly, hoping that the feeling in my gut was wrong however it rarely was…

* * *

Earlier that day…

_

* * *

(Maj. Lorne's POV)_

Woah, there was a lot of paint outside the labs. I examined the scene just outside the lab Drs McKay and Zelenka were previously working in. Following the trigger wire, I noticed a large sized bucket suspended by some average wire on an upper floor. From about that height I calculated that- well it would have made one hell of a splash. At this point I was beginning to doubt it was a good thing to be associated with the Colonel on such a prank as this… then again the offer of taking over my next two exploration shifts was more than worth it… if Dr Weir doesn't assign me extra work when she finds out about this.

I wondered how mad they were… I know on a rough day I'd be ready to send any cocky marine who pulled the same stunt as me to run around the perimeter of explored Atlantis. Then again I wasn't really the one who shot them, that was Sheppard I just gave him the equipment. …Though if it had been arms I'd been trading back on earth then I'd be a fault too… but it was harmless fun. I just have to make sure I don't get involved in future… besides I hear Dr Zelenka goes all out when he pranks people in retaliation. It's a good lesson to learn; don't prank the engineers…ever.

Taking a deep breath I strolled into the labs awaiting the worst. I was surprised to find Dr Beckett present in the labs. He was the one who warned me about the science staff and their abductions of anyone with the gene. I hadn't tried the chair as of yet and from the way the doc described it I'm not sure I want to… unless it's an emergency of course. Zelenka was the first to glance up from whatever they were working on. They seemed rather engrossed in their work; well they usually were, just more than usual.

"Ah Major. Is there something we can help you with?" The Czech inquired. Dr Beckett's head immediately spun around to my direction and he gave me a death glare. Uh oh… was that paint he was covered in? But I'm sure he hadn't put two and two together and figured that I was in on the paint scheme… at least not yet.

"Hullo Dr Z-" Zelenka winced at the abbreviation of his name… I didn't think it was all that bad. This way I had less chance of getting his name entirely wrong and aggravating him further. "And Dr Beckett. Just checking up on how things are in the labs… any reason why there's a big paint spill outside?"

"Ask your CO." Beckett muttered. Wow, he seemed in a grouchy mood today... Zelenka looked back at the doc and shot him a glare and he sighed and got back to work on the small devices littered across the desks.

"I apologise Major, Carson… he doesn't like to be working on ancient technology. He fears it may explode in his face-"

"That would be an improvement…" Beckett muttered to himself just in hearing range. The Czech shot the Scot a dirty look.

"I know he's never been too fond of ancient technology, warned me about the chair before I came here." I reasoned. I've never seen Carson act this way… he's only bad tempered when he's under huge amounts of strain and even then he manages to be civil to people. He glanced upwards at the mention of the chair… maybe he was just overly paranoid today. Advanced technology can be intimidating like the Puddle jumpers. Though I was already in the Air force it did take a while for me to get used to flying a _spacecraft_. Still once I got the hang of it, it was an amazing experience. Atlantis would be a lot less exciting if I didn't get to fly. For some reason I always feel better in the air rather on the ground but it's a trait that's pretty common in the air force.

"Ah really? That would explain your absence every time we ran our routine chair inspection…" The Czech said with a grin. It was no hidden secret that they did their inspection at the start of every month… and well I always found something to occupy myself with…. like flying Athosians back and forth from the mainland. Not exciting stuff but then again at least I wouldn't be responsible for a new hole in the roof.

"Well I think I would cause more damage than any help I could have been." I said returning the grin. Dr Zelenka had to be one of my favourite scientists to deal with… well considering I had been in charge of McKay's and Parrish's safety at times… Zelenka was much more laid back yet he worked with the efficiency that only McKay himself could beat.

"Oh please! That's what they all say Major. Besides I know the real reason you are here. Sheppard sent you didn't he?" Beckett accused. Well he's got me there.

"So what if he did? He just doesn't want things to escalate further than need be." I defended. Beckett must he having a terrible day… never ever seen him act like this at all.

"Oh? Well in case you and the Colonel haven't noticed I'm actually busy doing something _important_ you know." He sniped as he got up from his seat and crossed his arms.

"Like what?" I challenged. He was actually beginning to irritate me on a level only one other could manage.

"How about reversing the effects of a piece of ancient technology which has the capabilities to switch consciousness around? Ha! Bet you didn't see that coming." Zelenka looked deadpanned at Beckett, so even he was finding it hard to believe. Is it me or has Beckett gone completely crazy!

"…No I didn't. Then again you aren't Beckett." He wasn't. I knew it with every fibre in my being though I had no proof. "What's going on?" I demanded. Zelenka sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Major. I can explain…" Really? Because I sure as hell couldn't explain what was going on. I looked at Beckett more carefully, his stance, his smirk, his know it all attitude…

Oh god it was McKay!

"McKay!" The words slipped from my mouth.

"Ah so the typical military grunt has a brain. No wonder you managed to make it to be Sheppard's second in command." McKay snapped sarcastically. I just stared at him blankly for a few moments absolutely speechless for once. Zelenka looked contemplative for a moment.

"Major. Listen what McKay said about consciousness switching was true. We've had a series of …mishaps and are trying to solve it on our own." The Czech scientist said calmly.

"Yes _trying_." McKay interrupted. "If it wasn't for certain officers with too much spare time on their hands disrupting things." …Okay there was no doubting that McKay was inhabiting Beckett's body which means I can safely assume that Beckett must be in his. …Hopefully. Many questions sprung to my mind about the entire situation but one question stuck out my mind from the rest. So I asked it.

"But why haven't you told anyone? It'd get done faster if there are more people working on it." Zelenka was silent so my glance shifted to McKay who was also strangely quiet.

"…Because I've already been through the experience of everyone thinking I'm crazy. I don't need to go through it again." Pain echoed in his voice as well as his expression… he was telling the truth. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have no one believe you when you're perfectly sane. Now there was a side to McKay few people see. It's strange to see McKay so doubting… but then again it does make sense. McKay values his intelligence above all else, to go crazy or at least have everyone think you're crazy must've been madding for him. Zelenka was next to speak.

"I have not been through the experience myself… but I would not like to start now." I nodded in understanding.

"Have you made much progress?" I asked innocently. McKay just glowered at me.

"No. Not really." I was surprised. How long had these two been holed up here for... since lunch? Now it was early evening and they still had no answers. Maybe I should be worried if Zelenka and McKay can't figure it out… McKay picked up on my expression and quickly began one of his rants. "Don't look so surprised Major. These devices were obviously the work of a madman. A twisted weird psychotic madman who has an altered view of electronics."

"So it's not standard ancient technology we're dealing with then." I stated. McKay just shot me one of his looks designed for those stating the obvious and 'wasting' his time.

"No." He said. Zelenka was quick to elaborate while McKay got back to work.

"Well so far we've been able to determine that the technology is based off both wraith and ancient technology. It's something we've never encountered before."

"I can see why." I muttered. The wraith were enemies of the ancients, sure they'd pair up to combine their technology. Whatever.

"Well we've found that the device McKay is working on is the most updated version. All the devices are of similar ability …in theory." The Czech scientist explained.

"In theory?" I asked sceptically. In theory was like scientist code for 'We're guessing it'll work but if it doesn't well we never said it would'.

"Well I haven't been able to examine the other devices accurately but they seem to be prototypes. Rather redundant prototypes."

"At least one of them isn't redundant Radek. Otherwise what would have disappeared that science team?" McKay piped up.

"Woah… did you just say a science team _disappeared_?" I was beginning to get concerned. Things are looking worse and worse by the minute…

"Yes." McKay said exasperatedly. "That's why we're trying to fix it despite the fact I've had my body switched two times too many for my liking." Right times like this called for action.

"Right. So anything I can do to help?" I asked.

"Just don't touch anything _ESPECIALLY_ the devices… and coffee. Get some coffee." …What was I the errand boy? But I decided I wouldn't provoke McKay's wrath any further and so I went off in search of coffee wondering what I had got myself into…

_

* * *

(Dr Zelenka's POV)_

We'd been making a fair amount of progress but we were far from having enough of an understanding to reverse the effects… which we did not even know besides the obvious body switching. It was getting late but I knew I still had to work… I don't know how much time we have before things get worse but I have a feeling that every second would count. The Major was still here insisting that he would stay to help as best as he could and I was very grateful for it. Staying in the same room when McKay was this agitated was not a pleasant experience and Lorne was a target for Rodney's anger at times. It was quite remarkable that he could hold his own against McKay so well without losing his temper… then again he'd had experience with dealing with McKay before.

Oh right. My mind is wandering, must get back to work. I picked up my coffee mug to find it was surprisingly light… I'd gone through another coffee mug. Great. I peered up from my laptop and saw Rodney rubbing his temple and cursing. He didn't seem to be doing well today but who could blame him. It is frustrating to be in someone else's body to say the least… I am immensely relived that I am in my own. It was unnerving to be in McKay's shoes… literally. I reached for the coffee pot and poured myself another cup and was about to plunge back into work until McKay started yelling.

"THAT'S IT! I'm heading to the infirmary for some painkillers! My headache is killing me! And where is Carson anyways? It's not exactly hard to ask for a mission request… well maybe it is. But it shouldn't take this long." Ah well the silence had lasted longer than expected… I was about to answer him when he got off of the stool and looked a little light on his feet. The Major was quick to move to support him and McKay weakly tried to wave him off.

"I'm fine!" He insisted. "I just… uh feel a little dizzy." The Major looked at him sceptically.

"I don't believe you. For all we know it could be a side effect from the device…" Lorne suggested. That could be a possibility…

"I just haven't eaten… much." His last word came out forcefully as he clenched his eyes shut. No, he definitely was not well. I left my work and travelled to McKay's side and helped the Major.

"Hold him for a sec doc." I did as the Major told me as he detangled himself from McKay who was breathing rather heavily by now. The Major pulled out a radio from his pocket and began tampering with the controls.

"This is Major Lorne. I need a med team to lab 5, it's an emergency." The radio was silent until I heard a crackle on the other end.

"Understood." The voice said. Lorne immediately helped me again with the task of supporting McKay who by this point was struggling to support himself.

"Rodney… you're going to be alright. You just need to stay conscious-Rodney!" He immediately went rigid and it was apparent he was no longer conscious but was shaking violently. It was getting hard to keep a hold of him to we placed him on the ground. I was in a state of shock… I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was wrong and before I knew it I was pacing back and forth rather nervously and cursing in Czech. This was definitely the devices doing… but for what purpose? Nothing about the stupid device makes sense! Nothing! Why switch bodies around then make them pass out hours later?

"Dr Weir come in." The Major was contacting Elizabeth, it makes sense. We've kept people out the loop long enough… the risk has become so much greater than we predicted. Time seemed to drag on and it was frustrating me.

"That's the thing Ma'am. …Dr Beckett is right here with me and Dr Zelenka; he just suddenly took ill and passed out a few moments ago. I called for a medical team." I looked down at McKay's shaking form and cursed fluently in Czech once more. We'd been fools… to leave the science team unsupervised… to assume things were okay and we could solve them… The Major halted me in my tracks when he gripped my shoulder and mimed to me it'll be okay. I wanted to believe him I did… but in circumstances such as this it is hard to stay calm. My co-worker- my friend could be dying and there's nothing I can do to help!

"Dr Zelenka assures me that it isn't the case." Lorne said on the radio. Elizabeth was bound to find out the problem by now… and if something happens to him… it'll be my fault. Lorne handed me the radio and I just looked blankly at him.

"Just tell her we can't explain what's going on… not until McKay and Beckett are sorted out." He whispered.

"…Carson is ill too?" I asked faintly and the Major replied with a nod. I opened the channel on the radio.

"Dr Weir…" I started. I really did not want to worry Elizabeth but she deserved to know the truth if something bad was to happen. "It's hard to explain. Once Carson and Rodney make it to the infirmary I'll tell you." I said trying to hide the emotion in my voice.

"Understood."

"Uh oh…" Lorne said and as I turned to look at him and he took several steps back from the point where McKay was lying. My eyes shifted to his form and he was conscious! Relief swept over me until I noticed the feral grin on Beckett's face, the predatory look in his eyes… No, that was not Rodney or Carson. Lorne snatched the radio out of my hands and activated it while motioning me to get back.

"Colonel Sheppard!" He called.

"…What's wrong Major?"

"You need to head to Dr Weir's office. Now! No time to explain. She might be in danger. Oh and send a security team down here would ya?"

"Danger?" I echoed while moving further away from the thing inhabiting Beckett's body started to get up.

"So much for a day off…" Sheppard muttered and the radio clicked off. Lorne immediately pocked his radio and stared down Beckett's form. The look was returned with equal intensity, eyeing Lorne like he was a piece of meat. The stare down lasted a few moments before the thing charged at Lorne. And so a fistfight ensued between the two.

The Major was concentrating on his defence blocking the punches and only being offensive when he had to. The Major was fairly competent at fighting though I wasn't sure it was enough… the creature inhabiting Carson's body knew combat very well and was counting on Lorne to be defensive. I know he didn't want to have the possibility of hurting Carson but if he didn't pick up the pace he'd be the one getting hurt. I honestly didn't know what to do… the fighting was blocking the exit… the creature would definitely turn on me when it was done with Lorne and someone needed to explain to the others what was happening…

I heard the crash before I saw what had happened…

The creature had gotten through Lorne's guard which was inevitable as Lorne wasn't wearing down his opponent and had placed a well aimed kick into his chest and had knocked him over one of the worktops… The creature walked across to where Lorne was on the ground and trying to get up to his feet… I needed to do something!

Not sure what I was going to do yet, I got out my hiding place and looked frantically around the labs for something. The creature was closing in… I was running out of time. The thing would have no hesitation about killing the Major. Without thinking I picked up a stool and snuck up behind it and swung it hard…

…It connected with he creatures back and knocked it to the side. …I actually did it? I dropped the stool in disbelief. The Major was probably thinking the same thing as he stared at me for a few moments but he quickly recovered and got to his feet. Beckett's body got up and stared at us with that same sadistic expression only it looked more furious.

"Oh _come on!_" Lorne yelled exasperatedly. The body snatcher launched another attack and the Major was fighting with an increased effort giving as good as he got. They were intertwined in this violent dance when one kicked the over one dodged, when one punched the other one blocked and all I could do was watch. The Major had taken quite a few hits to his chest and his breathing had become heavy from pain and exertion. Just as the Major was beginning to tire Beckett flung a punch at Lorne's exposed side. The Major was quick to react, much quicker than he had previously been and slipped out of the way of the punch and had grabbed the attacker's wrist, swung to the outside and thrust the heel of his hand into Beckett's arm. A sickening crunch followed and I winced at the sound but found myself unable to look away. Lorne followed up with a kick to his back and the attacker fell and lay sprawled on the floor. …Had they won? Lorne kept his eyes trained on the figure waiting for it to pull a trick.

The form of Beckett got up from the floor shakily and hissed at Lorne.

"Give up." Lorne growled. The thing's expression changed for a moment to a smirk. It was up to something and I knew it but not what it was about to do… Suddenly without warning it grabbed a hold of something on the worktop and flung it at Lorne.

It had thrown the gizmo McKay had previously been working on. The body switcher!

"NO!" I could only yell as the object hit Lorne's chest with a thud, and his hands gripped around the machine. I heard the familiar screech of the nightmare as it activated because of Lorne's gene and saw the realisation dawning on the Major's face. And I could do nothing to stop it… As the bright light invading my vision I saw the stealer of Beckett's body run out the labs and I cursed the day that gadget had been born.

* * *

_A.N. : Yeah I know it's longer than usual but I couldn't stop writing... the plot bunnies stole my brain. Thanks to GD for being my beta. Angw for being such a good regular reviewer. Thanks to tvnut127 and Lu 14 reviewing. I hope you enjoy the story! _


	8. Crisis

**Attack of the Atlantean Gizmo**

_**Part 8: Crisis**_

_(Sheppard's POV)_

I waited for Lorne to radio me the all clear but as time slipped by I realised glaring at the radio wasn't going to make things speed up. Maybe it had something to do with the radio being an inanimate object, but still things were taking too long for my liking. I mean even if Rodney and Carson were _that_ furious at me you'd think they would have radioed by now to let me know I have no hope. Unless they had abducted Lorne in an attempt to get me to show up - doctors are sneaky people after all. Then again if that were the case they would have radioed me by now with some sort of conditions - besides I'm not giving the Major much credit.

I eyed Elizabeth's office. I'm sure he couldn't whine about my behaviour for that long - then again it is McKay. I peered through my binoculars at the office. I still couldn't see what was happening - talk about irritating.

"_Colonel Sheppard!_"Major Lorne called over the radio. Finally, it's about time! I've been waiting for ages. I picked up the radio and wondered if the situation had been resolved, but there was urgency in his tone indicating something wasn't right.

"What's wrong Major?" I asked.

"_You need to head to Dr Weir's office. Now! No time to explain. She might be in danger. Oh and send a security team down here would ya?_"Security team? Danger? - Had I missed something here? Though from the tone of the Major's voice I could tell the situation must be dire. Ah well, action first questions later - typical military situation

"So much for a day off," I muttered into the radio as I got up and sprinted for Dr Weir's office, and called for backup to the labs for an unknown situation. The tactical part in my brain got to work as I took the fastest route to the office wondering if Elizabeth and Rodney would be okay.

_

* * *

(Dr Weir's POV)_

Rodney's condition was worsening, that much I could tell. I knelt by his side, hoping the fit or what ever it was would pass. I held his shoulder tightly as wave after wave of the fit shook his frame - The medical team was nowhere in sight and I was truly frightened that if the team didn't get here soon, there would be a chance that I would lose him. I didn't even know what was wrong with him! I couldn't help him - there was nothing I could do. I could only watch and murmur words of comfort which I was sure he couldn't hear.

A few moments later the shaking stilled and for a moment I thought he might be dead. His pulse assured me that wasn't the case but it had given me a huge scare. For a moment it had seemed like Rodney McKay; the sarcastic, sometimes abrasive, genius and head of science team who had saved everyone's collective lives on a number of occasions had been dead. Relief was slowly over taking the panic, the fear and the guilt- the emotions that had for a few moments pushed to the surface and threatened to overwhelm me. I wrung my hands together but remained planted at Rodney's side. I would be there for him; if I could just do that then maybe the guilt of being unable to help him would lessen. I knew I was expecting too much of myself - but if it had been someone else in this situation rather than me, I'm sure they could have dealt with it better.

Did he just stir there? Not sure whether my mind is playing tricks on me or not, I decided to check his pulse again. It's seems stronger... Before I could pull my hand away Rodney grabbed my wrist in a death grip. The surprise coupled with the strength of the grip caused me to intake a sharp breath. I could feel his nails digging into my skin, the grip becoming stronger by the second. Despite my attempts to free myself he held on and I could feel the circulation in my hand worsening. Was Rodney really this strong?

"Rodney..." I said tensely. "Let go, please just let go. You're crushing my wrist." At the sound of my voice his eyes snapped open and he immediately sat up. He seemed confused, if only for a moment, before glancing at my wrist and leering at me. I didn't like the look in his eyes; it was that of a predator looking at its prey - Rodney had never looked at me like that before and I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy.

"Rodney." I said in a more commanding tone, though I felt anything _but_ confident at this moment. "Let go, now." He got to his feet fairly easily for someone who had just been rendered unconscious moments before.

"As you wish." He said in a mocking tone before shoving me harshly forwards as he released my hand. The power behind the shove was enough to have me land on my back on my desk causing many of my reports to flop uselessly to the floor. I was more concerned for my own safety rather than the safety of my reports at the moment, and it became more apparent I was in danger as McKay positioned himself in front of my door. I pushed myself up to my feet, and though a part of me wanted to scream for help, I stood still. McKay would never attack me... What was going on?

"What do you want?" I said having found my voice. Rodney continued to sneer at me as he took a few steps forward. I was running out of options - I needed to stall him. Until someone comes, _anyone _comes!

"You don't need to know anything except that the torture that you put me and several others through will not go unpunished."

"I don't understand - I can assure you we aren't responsible for whatever happened to you." I said, trying to negotiate not even knowing what had happened. I trust the team though, I'm sure none of them would intentionally harm someone unprovoked.

"Our kind doesn't play god Dr Weir. I think your kind should learn its place." Before I could even begin to think about what the being meant by that statement he continued to stalk towards me. I'm not a fighter; I know that much, but if the being inside McKay's body thought I was just going to let him harm me - he must surely be mistaken.

I maintained my distance from him; matching any step forward he made with a step backwards. I didn't know his capabilities but I didn't want to test them unless I had to. Suddenly he lashed out with a fist aimed at my face and I hurried backwards out of the way. A few other punches came my way but I refused to let myself be hit by them. The being inhabiting McKay's body knew combat, it showed in his speed and technique. All I was doing was buying time - my office was too confined for me to dodge forever and the hope of anyone coming had completely evaporated. Another punch came my way and as I moved to dodge it as I had done previously, his leg hooked around the back of my ankle and pulled, making me to tumble to the ground.

Before I could react, his foot came down on my lower ribcage, _hard_.

The impact caused me to cry out in pain though I was trying my best not to show weakness. The pain was unbelievable and the resolve I had to fight this was waning. My hands grabbed at his leg, clutching, pushing, using all the force I could muster to move his foot off of me. I couldn't escape though; he had me pinned beneath his foot and with each moment he was increasing the pressure and only showing mild discomfort at my attempts to get free. As the pain built in my chest, my breathing came out in short strained gasps. I could barely breathe and my head was spinning. My grip was loosening as my energy seemed to fade away. I didn't think I could take much more of this...

My eyes watered from the agony and the sadistic grin plastered over McKay's face began to melt as my vision blurred. My lungs burned from the lack of oxygen, my head was pounding to an intense rhythm... this was it, it seemed. Out of all the dangers I'd been faced with since I came to Atlantis, death by the wraith seemed most likely - not this. Not by a friend who probably had no control over his actions.

Just as I thought I was going to pass out, the pain over my chest lessened considerably though the continuous throbbing was there. Almost instantly afterwards I heard a crash and some sort of struggle. Knowing that someone had finally come to my aid I got shakily to my knees. Any movement of my ribs was met with a sharp striking pain but I knew I couldn't stay here. It wasn't safe. In the short time that it took me to get to an upright position I could hear the struggle lessening. I spared a glance to see what was happening and my eyes were met with the sight of John Sheppard pinning the being in McKay's body; John's hands gripping the collar of McKay's shirt tightly.

_

* * *

(Sheppard's POV)_

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled full force at McKay. I had run in to the sight of him hurting Elizabeth - I had no idea what was going on but one thing is certain. I am _very_ pissed off.

"What do you mean what's wrong with _me_? Elizabeth has been taken over by an alien consciousness! She was trying to kill me!" He yelled straight back.

"You could have killed _HER_! Why didn't you just call security? The only damn reason I'm here is because Lorne radioed me saying there was a problem - Problem? That's the biggest damn understatement I've heard in a while!" I screamed at him.

"How exactly would he know what's going on?" McKay countered angrily. I glanced over to Elizabeth who was leaning on her desk while breathing in an erratic manner. It'd probably take her a while to get her bearings; meanwhile I had to find out the truth myself.

"I sure as hell don't know but coming here to find you crushing Elizabeth's ribs points to the fact that you're part of the problem!" I snapped. Okay, I'm confused, angry - and I still don't know what's going on.

"As usual Colonel you're just jumping to conclusions. You trust Major Lorne over me?" McKay asked incredulously.

"In this situation - Yeah, yeah I do." I said sounding more confident than I felt. McKay looked hurt for a moment - what if it really was him?

"Yeah? Well you're making a mistake. He radioed you, right? Well why don't you radio him back and ask him what's going on?" McKay said smugly having recovered from before. I glared at him for a moment before reaching for my radio and switching it on.

"Major Lorne?" There was only silence. "Major Lorne respond, damn it!" I hollered. There must've been a situation on his end - why else would he know what was happening here? I gave up trying to connect with him and turned my angry gaze to McKay once more. "What did you do?"

"_ME_? In case you haven't noticed, I'm right here Sheppard. Didn't it occur to you that maybe he was trying to get you away from the labs?" McKay shot back.

"Oh? And why would Lorne do that?" McKay hesitated for a moment.

"How - how should I know? It was just a suggestion..." Aha! I was being bullshitted. McKay really _is_ bad bluffer. I chose this moment to interrupt him.

"Besides - that still doesn't explain why you attacked Elizabeth." I said warningly.

"We've been over this! There's an alien consciousness in her head!" McKay said exasperatedly.

"I don't buy that. She's been in her office for the most part of today - unlike _you_. Youwere working on those gadgets today, weren't you?" I accused. McKay was deathly silent. Okay - now things were beginning to clear up.

"...It's - it's not McKay..." Elizabeth managed to gasp out. I turned to look at her quizzically. I'd have thought she would have left by now - she's in a bad state.

Just as I was about to tell her to get to the infirmary something connected with the side of my face: McKay's fist. The disorientation from getting a whack to the head gave McKay the advantage. He exploited by twisting his arm around my neck and pulling me down; reversing our position and pinning me to the ground. Hissing from the sudden contact with the solid metal floor, I did the only thing I could do while McKay had me pinned; I cracked my head against his. Hurt - like - _hell_. Although his grip only lessened for a minute it was enough time for me to bring my knee up into his stomach and shove him off. McKay only seemed mildly phased by the blow but I didn't wait to see if he'd recover before I got to my feet. McKay followed soon after. Damn this was going to be tougher than I thought - It was going to take a lot to bring this guy down - but at the same time I'd be injuring McKay. I don't like this at all!

We spent the next few moments circling one another, waiting for each other to make the first move. Time was on my side after all. Eventually he gave in and sent a kick my way; I evaded like Teyla had taught me in one of our training sessions. I didn't like to admit it, but that sparring thing might be useful for this kind of situation. The fight got more and more intense by the second as we continued in a frantic effort to finish the fight as soon as possible. Whatever was controlling McKay was adapting and I found myself taking a few hits. I fought as best as I could in the scrap and after a short time I realised this fight wouldn't end well for both sides.

Just as I slammed McKay up against the wall, a loud voice bellowed through the room.

"STOP!" It sounded like Ronon yelling; finally some backup! McKay didn't stop however, and used a sweep to unbalance my left leg while shoving me forwards. I stumbled but quickly recovered and gave McKay a good punch to the face. Just as I was about to follow up with a finishing kick something hit me in the back. My entire body was shaken with a jolt of pain, then went numb, as I topped uselessly to the floor - and judging by the thud I heard before consciousness left me, McKay had met a similar fate.

_

* * *

(Teyla's POV)_

I caught up with the medical team fairly quickly and though my ankle with aching ruthlessly, I continued on with them. The 'bad feeling', as the people from earth called an inexplicable sensation that something was not what it seemed, was enough to force myself to continue on. A little further into the journey a female nurse spoke up.

"Miss Emmagan, you really should be resting your ankle. I'm guessing that it may be only sprained but still - we can take care of this-" The woman was small in stature and had blonde, short, cropped hair; which was common among the doctors in Atlantis for its practicality. She had been sending me glances earlier - No doubt worried about my condition; normally I would not object but I was suspicious about the situation and I doubt I could have rested not knowing what was going on.

"No." I said a little harsher than I intended but she had immediately stopped talking. She seemed shy - unsure of herself, but I reminded myself to reassure her that I was not ignoring the doctor's advice I had gotten. "I am fine. I will rest once this is over - but at the moment, Carson, a good friend, is in need of help. Are you sure you have no information on what has happened to him?" I hated to be overly insistent but as long as this bad feeling plagued my senses I would not be calm.

"None at all; the Major's alert was brief. All we know is that Dr Beckett is the one who needs medical attention." She said in a formal manner. I was surprised by this sudden change in tone. The fact that she was serious about her work was shown in the way she spoke. All this uncertainty about Carson was making me feel apprehensive though.

"Have you tried to contact the Major again?" I asked.

"We did a few moments ago but we got no reply..." She said hesitantly with concern in her voice. That was worrying - I was sensing danger, and him being unable to reply would suggest that something had happened to the Major. If so, then I could no longer dismiss the feeling I had as just concern.

"Do you think they could have been attacked?" I finally asked, having been silent for a few moments.

"We don't know that for sure. Who would have? Perhaps if Dr Beckett's condition is transferable..." The blonde nurse rambled. It was clear that she was just as unnerved by the situation as I was. She must have been one of the new personnel that had come from earth judging by her anxiety. I focused more on reaching the labs and ignoring the pain that had risen up my ankle to my leg.

As the group made more progress towards the laboratories I noticed the transporter. That would get us closer to the labs no doubt but when we started to move away from it, I was confused.

"Couldn't we use the transporter?"

"I'm afraid not - there's too many of us and too much equipment." The lead doctor said.

"What if a few of the group went ahead? Then they could report their findings." I suggested. The man seemed to contemplate it for a moment.

"Alright, go and take Miss Marilena with you."

"Thank you." I said while taking off towards the transporter. Once I reached it, I turned around to find the nurse who had previously spoken to me was the one that had been sent.

* * *

After coming out of the transporter I knew the labs were close by. As soon as I took a step out of the transporter however I involuntarily shivered. It felt as if I had been hit with a cold wave of salt water, and the uneasy feeling in my stomach had increased greatly.

"What's wrong?" Marilena asked, not hiding the fear from her voice.

"I do not know - it's almost as if I sensed - No... It is nothing." I sounded as confused as I felt. Things would clear up once we reached the labs.

"If you're sure... How is your ankle?" She asked.

"I would be lying if I said it did not hurt - but the sooner we find out what has happened, the sooner I will be able to rest it." I said honestly. She nodded in understanding before following me as I rushed to the labs.

Once we reached lab 5 my worst fears were confirmed as my eyes took in the sight of both Dr Zelenka and Major Lorne unconscious on the floor. Marilena immediately went to check the pulse of the Major; I moved to check Zelenka's. His pulse was relatively stable and I was unable to find any signs of wounds on his body. I moved over to where the blonde nurse knelt and looked down at the Major. He was breathing, unconscious like Zelenka, but across his body there were bruises, small wounds - his nose also looked to be broken. I glanced over to Marilena who was examining Lorne's injuries.

"He - he was attacked." She stammered while pointing to a swollen part on the Major's face that had turned a pale shade of purple. "That bruise looks like it was caused by a fist."

"Are you sure?" She nodded rapidly in response. I placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Though something caught my eye - there was a small piece of technology in Lorne's grasp. As the nurse moved to touch it, I gripped her arm preventing her from doing so.

"It would be unwise to touch something that might be the reason to their unconsciousness." I let go of her arm, got up and glanced around the lab for a few moments. My brow furrowed as I realised something that I had missed as I saw Lorne and Zelenka.

"-Where's Carson?"

"He was supposed to be here!" Marilena said with her voice rising in pitch.

"He's not here - Contact the medical team and tell them what you know." I commanded as I walked towards the door.

"Where - where are you going?"

"To find Dr Beckett."

* * *

I left the lab and glanced around, searching inwards for a guide to where he was. My instincts were telling me he was near. I heard the rush of footsteps and spun around into a defensive position. At the sight of a security team I relaxed. Though I was at a loss as to who sent the men, I was relieved. This would make the task of finding Dr Beckett easier. The leader of the team motioned for them to lower their weapons.

"Lieutenant Reed." The leader offered in a way of introduction. "What's happened here?"

"I came here with the medical team, though they could not use the transporter. Dr Zelenka and Major Lorne were found unconscious in the lab. A Miss Marilena is seeing to them now, though Dr Zelenka only appears to be unconscious, Major Lorne's wounds suggest that he was attacked. A strange device was found at the scene, it could explain why they were unconscious-" I clarified.

"But it wouldn't explain the Major's injuries?"

"No. Dr Beckett is also missing. Excuse me for asking - but who sent you? I wasn't aware that a security team was sent out-"

"Colonel Sheppard Ma'am. So from what you're telling me it looks like we have a hostile on the loose?" Ah, Colonel Sheppard - I thought he had today off...

"Yes - I was about to hunt for the culprit myself... Perhaps we should split up? We'll be able to locate the person faster."

"Alright men, you heard her. Split up and search the immediate area for both Dr Beckett and the person responsible for the attack." Reed ordered. Immediately the team sprang out in multiple directions into the shadows, while the medical team hurried onto the scene. Thinking that I had rested my ankle enough I sprinted off in the direction my intuition was screaming at me to go.

With each step I took my heart sped up, my skin tingled, my stomach felt more restless - these sensations were familiar to me; too familiar. I was more alert than I had ever been, hunting down this attacker while not knowing Carson's fate. I rushed up stairs, higher and higher up this pier until I could go no higher. At the top I found myself feeling dizzy, my ankle was throbbing mercilessly and my legs felt exhausted but I opened the door to the outside regardless. A sharp cold wind greeted me as I took my first few steps out and my eyes trained on the figure nearby. The figure which had turned around upon my entry - it was Dr Beckett. But the feeling that had led me to this point was yelling at me that it wasn't him. That it was something that until this point I had believed was impossible. But in my heart I knew it was true - He sneered at me and took a few steps forward and I immediately got into a defensive position once more.

"What have you done to Carson, _wraith_?" I yelled over the cold gale as I glared into the face of a creature who was not Carson Beckett.

* * *

_A/N: I know, whumpage... cliffhangers... I'm an evil little author. I'll probably update in 7 weeks from now. Got exams and all but who knows I might fit another part in_


	9. Miscommunication

_Author Note: Sorry for taking so long to update! Between my exams and the work I've been doing I was really short of creativity and time. At the moment I've got a slight bit of writers block though with a week until the summer holidays, I'm sure I can get the plot bunnies to return. Anyways enjoy and thanks for bearing with me!_

**

* * *

**

**Part 9- Miscommunication**

_(Teyla's POV)_

"What have you done to Carson, _wraith_?" I shouted furiously. I did not know how this wraith got in possession of Dr Beckett's body but I knew it could not be allowed free access to Atlantis. It had already harmed two people. The wraith immediately stopped progressing towards me and looked at me- curiosity in its eyes. I returned the gaze with a glare as I involuntarily stiffened my stance. I quickly took in the condition of Dr Beckett's body; there were many bruises apparent on his face, parts of his white lab coat had been torn and his left arm was sitting at an odd angle- he was definitely behind the attack on the Major.

"What happened to the human was his own fault. He released me." It finally spoke, the voice being Carson's; just lacking the warmth or even the accent it usually had. It seemed to have a fair command of the doctor's body- as I had feared. If it could control Carson's body- did that mean it could see into his mind, thoughts… memories?

"Dr Beckett is a good, kind man. He would never intentionally release a wraith nor does he deserve to be taken over by one." I spoke heartfelt. I know Carson is innocent- whatever he had done it must've been by mistake. He must have been tricked. Though the day I believe the words of a wraith is the day that I am no longer fit to lead the Athosians. Whatever words they utter are nothing more than threats, taunts and lies. The wraith would not fool _me_.

"How do you know what I am?" The wraith hissed. "I doubt the other humans know." The question caught me by surprise. Every insult at the tip of my tongue slowly slipped away as I found myself without anything to say. I would not tell the truth, ancestors forbid, but there was no easy way to hide the truth.

"I…I have met your kind previously… before they were wiped out." I said hesitantly through my teeth. The Colonel had previously used a tactic such as this when dealing with the wraith. It was slightly successful but at this point I did not want to fight the wraith until I had to. It had Carson, I would never want to harm him yet I had to be wary. The wraith had bested Major Lorne- a military soldier at the height of his health who was definitely in a better state to begin with than I am currently. Though the labs can be dangerous at times; a fight on top of this pier would put me in more risk than the Major ever was. The barriers are low; the winds are strong- hardly ideal conditions to take down a wraith. The wraith looked as if he did not believe me or he didn't care for he was still leering at me as if it knew something I did not. I could not understand its confidence; it was alone, wounded and far away from its kind- did it truly think it could stand a chance?

"The memories of this human say differently." If it could access Carson's mind- That would mean that it knows far too much about the city. It needs to be stopped! "It is regrettable that Atlantis still exists…" It continued. I shifted my weight to my injured ankle discreetly to see if I could deal with fighting with it. I winced- it would be difficult and painful but not impossible. But I needed to help Dr Beckett- that was more important"…But that will soon change." It finished with a smirk. He could run around Atlantis without anyone knowing it was not him. There was no sign of Carson on the outside- what if he was gone for good? The wraith would pay harshly if that was the case.

"What have you done to him?" I hissed.

"Nothing. He inflicted this on himself- not I." I was fed up dealing with the wraith, my chest was constricting from just being in it's presence for so long and the fact it still had my friend hostage was pushing me over the edge. It was not giving me straight answers and for all I knew Dr Beckett could be drifting further and further away.  
"You attacked the Major! Do _not_ play games with me wraith. You will lose. There is only one of you and a city full of Atlanteans. What do you hope to gain from taking Dr Beckett hostage"

"Freedom for me and the others trapped." It replied with a snarl.

"Trapped? Others- where? How many?" I immediately voiced the concerns pounding through my head and the wraith began sneering at me once more. The anger I had contained up until this point threatened to break out as it refused to comply.

"_TELL ME WRAITH!"_ It made no indication to say anything- however its stance began to alter as one preparing for attack.

The talking was over. It was time to fight- for Dr Beckett's sake.


End file.
